Good TV
I’ve got to say, it’s bracing for me to see unstoppable force meet unmovable object here. These are two of my least favorite television personalities ever, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard them both sound this sincere before, and certainly not at the same time. Since I think of both of them as insufferable pricks, it’s hard to actually pick a side in the debate; my only real wish would be that the confrontation devolve into an actual fistfight that leaves them both hospitalized.
Here, by the way, is the story they’re discussing.
Oh, dear.
I suppose this means that The Reaping is fiction, too.
Weekend news
They hijacked his country. They destroyed his civil rights. They killed thousands of his citizens in a war based on lies.
They forgot one thing —
He has a blog.
To Matthew Dowd: Good for you. And let me add: asshole. You want praise for quitting Bush’s team after helping get him installed in the White House? Twice? Fuck you. Next time, try clubbing baby seals for eight years before suddenly looking up and saying “Hey! This isn’t fair to the baby seals!” you’ll get more sympathy from me. Werner Von Braun is a better example than you.
To Chocolate Jesus Guy: shame on the people who cancelled your show. I get it: a chocolate Jesus on display during Easter. Makes total sense. Good for you. Not even a new idea: Tom Waits did it a long time ago. As have others. In any case, good job standing up to the flamboyantly anti-Christian Christian bully. It is my most devout wish that people in his organization would take a look at the precepts of their faith and kick his ass out to the street.
To John McCain: you’ve lost. You’ve already lost. You’re not going to get to be president. Just go home. Thank you for the service to your country. You’re done: retire. Walking around Baghdad with an armored vest, 100 men and five helicopters looks worse than Dukakis in the tank. Anything you do from now on is farce. Forget about it. Walk away. (Oh, and apparently six more soldiers were killed minutes after you left. Were any of them in your honor guard? Did you endanger their lives by going to Iraq?)
To Alberto Gonzales: Guess what? You are America’s Premier Law-Enforcement Officer. It might be a good idea to not show utter contempt for the law. It kind of sets a bad precedent. Not that you would care: you’re a stupid, evil little man.
To George W. Bush: good idea not showing up to throw out the first pitch today. In fact, it might be a good idea to not go out in public at all for the next couple of years. Or, as far as I’m concerned, for the rest of you sorry, stinking life. You suck.
Oh, and thanks for getting rid of that whole terrorism thing. That was a big help.
The Lurita Kiss Good Night
When it comes to amnesia, Geena Davis has nothing on Lurita Doan. She can’t remember anything.
The left and right hand of comedy
Dennis Miller on The Daily Show.
Because I’m a creaky, gray-bearded old-timer, I can still remember when Dennis Miller was funny. Once his beloved Republicans took over in 2000, he cast off his comic chains and became an angry, mean, bitter, paranoid, delusional crank.
So I was a little relieved to see him at least try to be funny again whilst sitting next to Jon Stewart. The clip tells you everything you need to know about the left and right hands of American comedy. Stewart attacks the right (well, everyone really) on issues and Miller attacks the left on physical appearance. Al Gore is fat and won’t shut up, Nancy Pelosi is ugly and uses Botox, Robert Byrd is old and acts funny. Ha ha ha — gee, how can I possibly take any of those people seriously when one is overweight, one is a woman and one is old? You really nailed those losers, Dennis!
No mention whatsoever of the issues; they must not have been mentioned in the “talking points” fax he got that morning. Miller has an extensive vocabulary but apparently he hasn’t gotten to “shame” yet.
See how it all began
So much history in this clip. See Dan Rather when he was still a journalist, before he became a simile-spouting bug-eyed lunatic, see Jeb Magruder do the Scott McClellan liar’s stammer, see the Comittee to Re-Elect the President (CREEP), already laundering Nixon’s dirty tricks money, months before the Watergate break-in, and most important, see the tall, skinny, bespectacled young idealist at the end, learning his trade of unquenchable greed and conscience-free ambition at the foot of the master, and already dreaming of the day he will run it all. Yes, he thinks, one day they’ll all pay, all of the dirty fucking hippies, they will all bow down to me and tremble before my power. I SHALL RULE THEM ALL.
Fundamental human truth discovered by Washington pundit!
The Republicans have, apparently, just now discovered that their president and his administration are monstrously incompetent. Strange how this discovery lay beyond their deductive capabilties during the past six years while they were enjoying the most unfettered amount of power in recent history.
And what did they do with that power? They did with it what all politicians do with unchecked power, used it to make a ton of money for themselves as they laid waste to the environment and began unnecessary foreign wars designed to line their pockets.
And some people are vicious, irresponsible hypocrites posing as journalists
The interviewer, it has come to my attention, is herself a cancer survivor and mother of two, who, when her husband was diagnosed, stayed at her job as her husband died. So then what is this interview? Partisan politics, blind hateful personal attack, or disguised self-flaggelation?