Birdfight!

Cardinal trounces a gang of goldfinches, from the slowly-being-completed graphic novel Feeder Birds.

This is the very short version: the fight currently goes on for 18 panels.





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What a bear does in the woods

The New Yorker is the holy grail for panel gags.  Extremely talented cartoonists slave for years to get their gags into the New Yorker.  They have the highest standards in the cartooning world.

And then sometimes they run mysterious items such as this:

Okay, I get that it’s the woods.  It’s a grove of maple trees, with their syrup taps.  I get that there is a bear in the woods.  I get that the bear is holding a plate of pancakes.  I get that the bear is removing some of the syrup from one of the trees for his pancakes.  I understand that there is humor, somewhere, in this situation.

What I don’t get is the look on the bear’s face.  The bear is glancing to his back, as though he is expecting trouble, as though he expects the tree’s owner to jump out and arrest him for stealing syrup.

I’m sorry, that’s just one angle too many.  A bear with a plate of pancakes?  Funny.  A bear getting syrup out of a tree for his pancakes?  Funny.  A bear anxious about getting syrup out of a tree for his pancakes?  You lost me.  Why should the bear care if someone is going to catch him stealing syrup?  He’s a bear.  He’s even a tough bear, you can tell by the way he’s squinting, as if to say “yeah, you just try and stop me, sucka.”  Maybe it’s the squinty eyes that ruins it for me.  If he was looking around guiltily, I can kind of see how that would be funny.  But this?  I’m sorry.

Why couldn’t it just be a bear going about his business, getting syrup for his pancakes like you or I would get it out of the refridgerator?  That’s pretty funny.  But the element of criminal activity makes no sense.  It doesn’t add to the joke, it muddies it.

MEANWHILE,


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this cartoon would have made a good illustration for my Bourne v Long Kiss piece. hit counter html code

Dale Goodson

Dale is an old friend of mine from NYC, one of the most talented performance artists I ever worked with. His work is weird, oblique and original (the video above has to rank as one of his most direct, straightforward pieces. He now has a website, which I urge you to investigate.
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The Lurita Kiss Good Night

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VePqzIrR-ao

When it comes to amnesia, Geena Davis has nothing on Lurita Doan. She can’t remember anything.

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Amnesiac Assassin: The Long Kiss Good Night v. The Bourne Identity


Two amnesiac assassins. One pose.  Only one can win.

There is a little-known, dimly-lit recess in the bowels of the CIA where they train super-powered, tougher-than-nails assassins to be ruthless, heartless, inventive, brutally efficient and impervious to pain.  There’s only one problem: if you drop one in cold water, he or she will invariably get amnesia.

That is the premise of both The Long Kiss Goodnight and The Bourne Identity.  One of these movies is a taut, thrilling masterpiece of its genre and the other is a silly, flip, extravagant eruption of action-movie weirdness.  I’ll let you figure out which is which.

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The left and right hand of comedy

Dennis Miller on The Daily Show.

Because I’m a creaky, gray-bearded old-timer, I can still remember when Dennis Miller was funny. Once his beloved Republicans took over in 2000, he cast off his comic chains and became an angry, mean, bitter, paranoid, delusional crank.

So I was a little relieved to see him at least try to be funny again whilst sitting next to Jon Stewart. The clip tells you everything you need to know about the left and right hands of American comedy. Stewart attacks the right (well, everyone really) on issues and Miller attacks the left on physical appearance. Al Gore is fat and won’t shut up, Nancy Pelosi is ugly and uses Botox, Robert Byrd is old and acts funny. Ha ha ha — gee, how can I possibly take any of those people seriously when one is overweight, one is a woman and one is old?  You really nailed those losers, Dennis! 

No mention whatsoever of the issues; they must not have been mentioned in the “talking points” fax he got that morning. Miller has an extensive vocabulary but apparently he hasn’t gotten to “shame” yet.
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The Naked Kiss

Samuel Fuller pushes the boundaries of what one normally thinks of as possible in movies. He combines thudding, flat-footed awkwardness and even occasional outright “bad” moviemaking with surreal flights of screen poetry, sometimes within the same scene, even in the same shot. One fight scene is shot as as a heated, subjective tumble, another is shot dispassionately from across the room, still a third is shot with modernist elegance. Equal parts squalid and elegant, tawdry and moralistic, it can be startling with its crudeness one moment and then give way to visionary craziness the next.  The clash of styles, tones and textures produces an unsettling, electric tension; one has no idea what is going to happen next.  What emerges is a movie of unique, dynamic life, almost unbearable in its rawness as it plunges its spear into the cerebral cortex of American life. Actors will be stiff and lifeless in one scene and then, seconds later, they will surge with feverish passion as they deliver jaw-droppers like “You’ll be sleeping on the skin of a nightmare!” or “I’ve got no time to break in baby baggage!”

A Woman With A Past moves to a small town, anxious to start again, but wouldn’t you know it, No One Will Let Her Be and soon Her Past Catches Up With Her. All noir cliches, and yet this movie never feels cliched. Just when you think “Oh, I know what this is, it’s a ‘b’ movie, this’ll be fun” Fuller will pull some daring, shocking cinematic stunt, with seemingly no bottom to his bag of tricks.

There are any number of stunners in this piece, but my favorites are a late-night makeout session that moves from the couch of a suburban mansion to a gondola in Venice with no stops in between, a soul-searching colloquy between the protagonist and a dressing dummy and a musical number where the ex-prostitute sings like Mary Poppins to a room full of crippled children.

Constance Towers reminds me of Virginia Madsen as the crooked lady trying to go straight. Anthony Eisley, while not exactly “good,” has been given the task of pushing through an incredible arc as his attitudes toward the protagonist shift. He goes from cheerfully randy to puritanically prude to savagely protective to punishingly pigheaded until he finally arrives at something like understanding, forgiveness and tenderness.

The plot spirals downward into the bottommost pit of depravity, a potent stew of betrayal and hatred; it’s hard to remember that it is, forall intents and purposes, a “woman’s picture” plot in the Douglas Sirk mode. It also has one of the most effective gut-punching end-of-second-act curtains I’ve ever seen.
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See how it all began

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BM0zJl9Bxk8

So much history in this clip. See Dan Rather when he was still a journalist, before he became a simile-spouting bug-eyed lunatic, see Jeb Magruder do the Scott McClellan liar’s stammer, see the Comittee to Re-Elect the President (CREEP), already laundering Nixon’s dirty tricks money, months before the Watergate break-in, and most important, see the tall, skinny, bespectacled young idealist at the end, learning his trade of unquenchable greed and conscience-free ambition at the foot of the master, and already dreaming of the day he will run it all. Yes, he thinks, one day they’ll all pay, all of the dirty fucking hippies, they will all bow down to me and tremble before my power. I SHALL RULE THEM ALL.
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Fundamental human truth discovered by Washington pundit!

The Republicans have, apparently, just now discovered that their president and his administration are monstrously incompetent. Strange how this discovery lay beyond their deductive capabilties during the past six years while they were enjoying the most unfettered amount of power in recent history.

And what did they do with that power? They did with it what all politicians do with unchecked power, used it to make a ton of money for themselves as they laid waste to the environment and began unnecessary foreign wars designed to line their pockets.
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And some people are vicious, irresponsible hypocrites posing as journalists

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPE4JLwXpLk

The interviewer, it has come to my attention, is herself a cancer survivor and mother of two, who, when her husband was diagnosed, stayed at her job as her husband died. So then what is this interview? Partisan politics, blind hateful personal attack, or disguised self-flaggelation?
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