The “Cow Over Moon” Experiment

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Now that science has proven that the cat does not actually play the fiddle, as many have surmised, but was merely seen near the fiddle at the time of the mysterious cutlery disappearance (CAT + FIDDLE), we now turn our attention to the heretofore long-considered “hyperbolic” or “hallucinogenic” passage concerning the “cow” that “jumped over the moon.”  Looking at the above diagram, it is readily apparent that the vantage point of the LITTLE DOG (a) with regards to the COW (b) is so low, especially in relation to the surrounding horizon, and the COW so near to the LITTLE DOG, that the cow would only need to “jump” four or five feet into the air in order for the LITTLE DOG to perceive it as having jumped “over the MOON”(c).  Similar unexpected juxtaposed images of dairy animals and celestial bodies have produced laughter not only in “little dogs” but in the larger breeds as well in laboratory settings (see Goose et alia, Cow, Moon, Dish, Spoon, pp 321-449, op. Cit.).

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18 Responses to “The “Cow Over Moon” Experiment”
  1. eronanke says:

    I like your citation. Reminds me that school is coming up!
    You went to college, yes?
    Which one?

  2. You’re varying you’re subjects

    Are you jst passing time until your projector bulb is fixed?

  3. chrisdon says:

    It’s a fine diagram, but it apears that the cow is about 6 feet off the ground. bo’vine steroids no doubt.

    • Todd says:

      Well, don’t forget though, it is a “little dog.”

      • kokoyok says:

        But, wait! There’s a huge flaw in your whole explanation: anyone who has seen Snatch knows that dogs can’t look up!

        • Todd says:

          I have seen Snatch many times, and my logic is perfect. The whole premise is based on the dog’s perspective. The moon is at a low horizon point, the dog is looking straight ahead and the cow, now that I think of it, if the moon is just rising, would only have to jump a foot or two to appear to be “over the moon.” The question is, WHAT MADE THE COW JUMP?


          • kokoyok says:

            If this were a Lifetime movie, she was pushed. And the Bull did it.

            Hmmm… I wonder if we could get James Urbaniak to audition as the Bull that forces her to choose between her dairy career and her calf…