Senator Craig

Crooks and Liars posts this video of Senator Larry Craig (R-Idaho) giving his statement regarding his arrest for and confession of propositioning an undercover cop in a Minnesota airport men’s room.

Aside from the obvious (yet another anti-gay Republican senator being revealed to be a closet case), I am interested in the piece for the senator’s opening remarks. He begins by saying “I’d like to thank you all for coming out today — ” and my pulse was momentarily raised by the possibility that he was then going to finish the sentence with ” — by doing the same myself.”

Alas, he didn’t. But that would certainly be something, would it not? Imagine if this were his statement instead of his blah-de-blah boilerplate, easily-dismissed denial (“denial” having multiple meanings here):

“You know, I’m glad this happened. I’m glad this happened, because it’s a perfect example of the kind of behavior people like me have been driven to by the repressive, inhumane laws that people like me have passed. Now that everyone knows I’m gay, that my personal life is a sham and that my professional life is a gigantic, brutal machine of self-hate, maybe now I can say “screw all that, I’m not going to be a politician any more, I’m going to finally try to make my life line up with the acts I spend my waking life performing, I can let my wife have some kind of normal existence for her remaining years, and I won’t have to proposition strange men in airport men’s rooms for my kicks. I’m 60, I’m fit, I’m rich, I’m ready for action — who wants me?”

Unless, of course, he’s afraid the answer would be “no one.”

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10 Responses to “Senator Craig”
  1. e_ticket says:


    I also loved hearing the straight NPR folks this morning ruminate on the meaning of foot-tapping. Worth a listen and a chuckle.

  2. greyaenigma says:

    But I’m A Senator!

    It’s disappointing how homophobic a lot of the comments in Crooks and Liars were. I guess it shouldn’t be surprising.

  3. mcbrennan says:

    MMmphi Mmpham Mmphnot Mmphgay!

    Everybody, straight, gay or whatever, is afraid the answer would be “no one”. That’s no excuse. But as a sort of character study, it’s always interesting to see how people react when cornered. After years of craven deception, McGreevey suddenly embraced his inner fabulousness and declared “Ich bin ein gay American!”–hoping, I suppose, to paint any criticism of his graft and nepotism and shady payoffs and ruining his wife’s life and whatnot as “homophobia”. This guy, on the other hand, would probably be offering a strident, muffled “I am not gay” even in mid-fellating. At some point you would think the unbelievable nerve required to solicit sex from random strangers in airport restrooms would translate into the courage to be honest and live your life with some semblance of personal character. Apparently no.

    • ghostgecko says:

      Re: MMmphi Mmpham Mmphnot Mmphgay!

      Any bets that’s how his next “I’m not gay” speech will be delivered? Seriously, this whole thing is comedy gold.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Well being one of Mr. Craig’s constituents in Idaho, I can at least be glad that a sheep wasn’t involved.


  5. sheherazahde says:

    Senator Craig

    Oh, Oh, Oh..

    This is such a farce.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Lost opportunities

    Sen. Craig blew his chance (so to speak) to make that confession back in the summer of 1982, when he was 35 and even more ready for action.