Obligatory /b/ post

I just accidentally my email account is this bad?free stats

pic related it’s me


31 Responses to “Obligatory /b/ post”
  1. ndgmtlcd says:

    I keep telling myself that this is an internal matter for U.S. citizens only, and it’s none of my business, but when you post something like this I can’t help laughing, and laughing, and laughing…

  2. fungifruit says:

    This will sound horrible and sexist, and it probably is:

    I want to take my balls out and smack her across the face so hard that she becomes murdered.

    Some people need to be taken out in tanooki v. police style.

    • stormwyvern says:

      Not having any myself, I’m not sure, but if you actually could shapeshift your testicles, would crushing people with them really be at the top of your list of things to do?

      Nothing remotely appropriate for workplace or children is going to come of this discussion.

      • Todd says:

        I have not met Mr. fungifruit, but I will take his word for it that his testicles are of sufficient weight and durability to smack the Alaskan governor’s face hard. (Leaving aside, for the moment, the physics of the situation — ie, how he would find himself in the position of using his testicles to smack anyone’s face, much less the vice-presidential candidate.) I will, however, ask him, should he find himself in this unlikely situation, in the name of propriety, to refrain from smacking her across the face so hard that she becomes murdered.

        • fungifruit says:

          To be fair it is a kamikaze technique and any attempt at it’s use would be of great physical detriment to myself.

          Anywho, I could always hire Jackie Chan to pull it off using one his patented parkour moves and wall kick off a podium to get the proper height and force needed for at least a simple temporary incapacitation. We just have to pray that she doesn’t flip upside down for a counter.

          (Goddamn why would I look at that before bed, and also godfuck this journal used to be so clean and not horrible, /b/ ruins everything. Life would be better for everyone if I wouldn’t click post. Naaaah.)

        • stormwyvern says:

          Can I assume everyone here at least knows of “Pon Poko” or is this joke not only possibly sexist (though I don’t mind it), but also going over many heads?

          • Todd says:

            Pon Poko gets nothing but a dial tone over here.

            • noskilz says:

              That codling smite business sounds a little like something out of Soul Vengence – although I suppose a tanuki could do some damage (I haven’t seen either movie, so I’m just guessing.)

              It’s startling just how many screw-ups one ticket can cram into such a brief span of time – although it is probably a good reminder than anyone who is some sort of public figure should have strong passwords. The post mortem on this election should be fascinating, particularly on how well the polling matches the results.

            • stormwyvern says:

              Just so we’re all on the same page, “Pom Poko” (which I am sorry to have spelled wrong previously) is a Japanese animated film about tribes of tanooki – the Japanese raccoon-like canids endowed with magical abilities in folklore – fighting back against the growing human encroachment on their wilderness homeland. It’s directed by Isao Takahata, the major studio Ghibli who is not Hayao Miyazaki, and it balances between the humor associated with tanookis and the sadness that comes with nature falling victim to modern progress. Bit more widely, it’s known as the movie where the tanookis use their giant testicles to crush their human foes. Tanookis are traditionally portrayed as having large testicles and one of their powers is to shapeshift. So one faction within the tanooki society decides to take the fight to the humans, resulting in the tanooki warriors growing their testicles to an abnormally large size and attack their enemies with them. It’s only one aspect of what ends up being a rather touching movie and I think the film has been unfairly judged by it. It also apparently had the likely unintended effect of Mr. Fungifruit looking at his crotchal area as potential weaponry.

              • Todd says:

                Oh, those guys.


                • stormwyvern says:

                  Yup. To repeat, it’s not really fair to categorize it as “the movie where raccoons crush people with their testicles,” partly because testicular transformation only makes up a very few scenes in the movie and partly because one of the interesting aspects of the film is that the tanooki are divided on how to deal with the humans threatening their existence, so only some of them actually resort to testicle based warfare.

                  I will do my best not to say or type the word “testicle” or any variation thereupon for at least a month as I’m pretty sure I’ve exceeded my limit.

                • teamwak says:


  3. xbt says:

    Lame /b/ satire is lame.





    Okay, I’m out.

  4. charlequin says:

    Thank you for bringing the lulz.

  5. woodandiron says:

    My favorite is story about the incident. The guy who is supposedly an Internet genius claims that Anonymous is a “network… of a dozen or so people.” That’s just highly ridiculous.

    I also love that the news keeps referring to this as a “hack” when it was just a simple guessing game using publicly shared knowledge about Sarah Palin.

    (Hi, Todd. Longtime reader, first time commenter.)

  6. kikilatrace says:

    my latest LV post contains an article you may find interesting/infuriating.

  7. greyaenigma says:

    So much meme. Makes me wonder if her baby is using 25.

  8. Anonymous says:

    I’m deeply conflicted about the Sarah Palin email hack. On the one hand, I believe in the right to privacy, I don’t approve of partisan-motivated skullduggery by either side, and I definitely don’t want any truly personal correspondence from that account to reach the public.

    On the other hand, I despise sneaky politicians who shift correspondence about their public business into private realms to avoid public scrutiny. I also delight in stupid, stupid politicans who avoid relatively secure government e-mail systems to conduct sensitive correspondence via spam-clogged email services that can be cracked by a particularly enterprising high schooler. And I wholeheartedly support the notion that every single piece of correspondence in that account relating solely or primarily to the governor’s public business should be hung out like dirty laundry for the entire world to see, even if (as reports indicate) it’s entirely innocuous.

    I was unaware of the existence of this particular Internet meme until now. I can’t say I’m glad I’ve been enlightened. (=

    — N.A.

  9. teamwak says:

    Well, you live and learn!

    I know know what /b/ is, and would like back the hour of my life I just spent on 4chan.

    I’m just too busy to have discovered /b/. Cant.Spend. Anymore. Time. Online!

    • Anonymous says:

      I always wondered why Todd Alcott tolerates Anon on his site, now I know, he’s an honorary /b/tard. Just be sooo thankful you haven’t discovered encyclopediadramatica.com yet. Oops.

      For those of us just tuning in, here’s the order of events:

      1. Kid changes Sarah Palin’s e-mail password using publicly available knowledge about Sarah Palin.

      2. Kid posts password on /b/

      3. /b/ ruins everything nice that they are given, and get the account suspended.

      4. FBI joins /b/. Moot lol’s.

      5. The old media takes a stiff shot of vodka and logs onto /b/ once again. Much gay porn ensues (we’re talking about Fox News after all)

      6. Bill O’Retard and Michelle Malkin fight over whether /b/ is going to jail or not, much hilarity ensues.

      7. Rubico (the 1337 hacker) gets v& by the FBI (may not have happened yet).

      • Todd says:

        I saw somewhere that Popcorn got v&, but I don’t know if he’s been charged, or with what.

        Mostly, Anon behaves himself on my LJ and I let him go. Every now and then the conservative wing of Anon writes in and throws snarkballs and must be chased back to his cave.

        I’ve known about encyclopediadramatica for a while now. It is an invaluable addition to our culture — how else would a middle-aged, happily-married, father-of-two Hollywood hack screenwriter get all the latest internet jokes?

        /b/ does ruin everything they’re given. Therein lies their beauty.