Here’s Looking at You
The first two are from my copy of Time Magazine. The third is the cover of the new Office DVD set.
Why does Steve Carell hate America?
Meanwhile:
I know nothing about this show and I’m sure it’s wonderful, but I crack up every time I see this ad. All I can think is, “There’s something behind Skeet Ulrich, and we don’t know what it is, but it’s apparently more interesting than an atomic blast.”
Do not look directly at the blast. In the case of nuclear holocaust in the Heartland, steer into the blast while loking behind you.
Steve Karell’s hatred of America has grown exponentially with each increase of Stephen Colbert’s ratings. This is why he changed the spelling of his last name, just because he knew it would irk Colbert and Geraldo.
If I were writing a slanderous propaganda piece, I’d want to peak out from behind the blinds to see if people were buying it, too.
No, no, no – ever since “Body Heat” was released in 1981, all “peeks through the Venetian blinds” have been in the futile hopes that Kathleen Turner will come by and have sex with the lucky Venetian blind peeker.
Does that really work? I am totally going to try it.
He’s parallel parking, Todd. C’mon.
It just occurred to be that he may be driving backward, Hooper-style.
Steve Carrell! From Newton, Massachusetts! Where the Robolizard grew up! Hooray! We’re the safest city in America… possibly because we hate the US so much… hooray!
SKEET: That’s it! I’m gettin’ out of this nowhere town, man! All you small-town townies can just kiss my town-leaving ass!
He climbs through the window of his comically filthy 1970 El Camino.
VOICE (O.S.): (faint) Skeet! Skeet! Watch out for the…
Skeet looks back, perplexed
SKEET: Whut?
VOICE (O.S.): (louder)Skeet, don’t go that way! There’s a huge thermonu–
SKEET: Whuuuut?
VOICE (O.S.): (yelling) Mushroom cloud! Nuclear bomb! Death!
(beat)
SKEET: Speak up, maan. I can’t hear you over the loud, uninteresting explosion.
CUT TO:
An undeground military bunker. A shadowy figure, outlined only by the flickering mushroom cloud on a television monitor, laughs menacingly, drumming his fingers smugly on the recently-pressed LAUNCH button. He grabs a lighter and an American flag, and sets it on fire, still cackling. Light from the BURNING FLAG reveals his identity.
STEVE CARELL: At last I have destroyed the only thing I hate more than America. Die, Skeet Ulrich. I’ll see your marginally Deppish good looks in hell.
Carell’s final words echo menacingly as music swells and we
FADE OUT
He’s watching his back for skeet shooters.
I think he’s looking back at Chill Factor, and suddenly realizing where his career is headed, perhaps wondering if there’s a turn he missed that would have taken him down the Johnny Depp Turnpike, or at least the Billy Cruddup Thruway.
He might have to stop at the convenience store and pick up some Talent first.
Is that ANOTHER atomic blast I see in his rear view mirror? Or is that the sun setting on his film career?
The former would at least make sense. I mean, if there’s one thing that’ll take your attention away from an atomic fireball, it’s another blast happening behind you. It would also explain the look on his face. “Cripes! Another one?!”
That’s the look of a man who has just realized that objects in the mirror really ARE closer than they appear.
By the way, I really enjoy reading your journal and the comments your readers leave. It’s a pleasure to read posts that contain good grammar and proper spelling.