Alcott Held Hostage — Day 2

Finally losing hope that my projector bulb might spontaneously repair itself, today I emerged from my pitch-black screening room and blinked, pale and squirming, into the sunlight on this, the first day of summer.

The grass was green, jasmine wafted on the breeze, a child batted a barrel hoop down the street, laughing and gamboling as his tiny legs pumped in joyous fury.

Not only was this all in high-definition, it was in 3-D, and interactive.

Thrilled at my discovery of this new entertainment medium called “the real world,” I hopped in my car and went for a drive.

Hit standstill traffic on Santa Monica Blvd.  Some kind of construction.  Turned around and went back home.

Maybe I’m taking things too fast.
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11 Responses to “Alcott Held Hostage — Day 2”
  1. gazblow says:

    Hit standstill traffic on Santa Monica Blvd. Some kind of construction. Turned around and went back home.

    Serves you right for asserting there was a kid batting a barrel hoop down the street. Next thing you’re gonna tell us is that he stopped to play Marbles after taking the slingshot out of his back pocket.

    • Todd says:

      That did not happen. Mostly because he was accompanied by his dog, a charming pitbull with a large circle around one eye. The boy called him “Bandit” and the two of them headed off for the swimmin’ hole.

  2. popebuck1 says:

    I’ve tried that “real world” stuff – don’t bother. It’s way overrated.

    There’s bugs and weather and shit. You don’t want to get involved.

  3. greyaenigma says:

    Getting in the car was sort of heavy-handed foreshadowing for hitting insurmountable traffic. Traffic jams are getting to be a a bit cliche.

    Also, don’t give into temptation to go to Jack In The Box. I hear that way lies madness.

  4. urbaniak says:

    Stay in your basement and type. There’s a good blogger.

  5. r_sikoryak says:

    Shouldn’t you be spending time with Mrs. Blogger?

    By the way, happy anniversary!

    • Todd says:

      Thank you. We celebrated by each having a glass of wine with dinner.

      I have my blog, Mrs. Alcott has her Craigslist Parenting Forum. It’s our version of separate vacations.

      • urbaniak says:

        Happy Anniversary indeed. Eight years. I know it’s been eight years because you were married the week “Henry Fool” came out.

        • Todd says:

          Indeed. In fact, before we left on our honeymoon, we marched right down to the Angelica and saw HF.

          The judge who married us was really impressed that we had an actual MOVIE STAR in our wedding party, one with a movie opening that VERY WEEKEND. And, as it happened, he was there at the same showing we were.

          However, he was not there when the movie ended.