Bush on the Plame affair:

“And if there is a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is. And if the person has violated law, the person will be taken care of. … I don’t know of anybody in my administration who leaked classified information. If somebody did leak classified information, I’d like to know it, and we’ll take the appropriate action.”

And yet, gosh, it turns out: Bush Authorized Plamegate Leak

Bush on the assassination of Benazir Bhutto:

“The United States strongly condemns this cowardly act by murderous extremists who are trying to undermine Pakistan’s democracy. Those who committed this crime must be brought to justice.”

And we have learned by now that the only possible way to discern truth from the mouth of Bush is to take what he says and state it in the exact opposite

(So the above quote could be translated as: “I strongly applaud this brave act by life-loving centrists who are trying to sustain Pakistan’s brutal dictatorship.  Those who committed this great deed must be made exempt from the rule of law.”)

Only possible conclusion: Bush ordered the assassination of Bhutto.

(Well, at least he got the “murderous extremists” part right — that’s the most succinct description of his administration I’ve read yet.)

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3 Responses to “”
  1. So that’s where all that money went!

  2. The person who violated the law was very well taken care of. Bush pulled a brilliant linguistic coup by implying irony quotes when he was actually being perfectly literal.

  3. ajsnavely says:

    As I was watching his statement yesterday morning (it interrupted The Price Is Right) I couldn’t get past the fact that there was something wrong. He looked funnier than normal. Then I realized what it was. The President had “Bed Head.” I know he is on vacation, and it is only 10:30 in the morning. (I frequently don’t shower until the afternoon on my days off) But he knew he was going to be on TV. Couldn’t he at least have run some water through his hair? Maybe put on a hat.

    Clearly he just doesn’t care anymore. Like us, he just wants this long national nightmare to be over.