Attention Variety
I am available for writing post-Oscar-ceremony headlines.
Here are some examples:
QUEEN CATE APPROXIMATELY
Blanchett wins for two historic roles
NO OSCARS FOR “OLD MEN”
Surprise shut-out for Coen pic
THERE WILL BE OSCARS
WGA reaches agreement in time for broadcast
DEPP DRINKS DAY-LEWIS’S MILKSHAKE
Surprise upset for Blood actor
LINNEY “SAVAGES” CHRISTIE
Takes Oscar “Away From Her”
Hey, hacks like me work really hard on this shit.
Yeah, well hacks like me work really hard writing the movies that get made for hacks like you to work really hard on this shit. Don’t get me started Mole, I will out-hack you any day of the week.
“Juno who won an Oscar? Diablo Cody!”
I knew there was one in there somewhere.
Really good all around, but I keep thinking there’s got to be something more . . . unlikely-but-appropriate that could be done for the Depp/Day-Lewis one. I’m pretty sure that, whether Day-Lewis wins or not, the “milkshake” line will be referenced by at least five headline writers around the country. At least.
The subhead suggests to me that something clever could be done with the title There Will Be Blood and referencing the very bloody Sweeney Todd, but for the life of me, nothing’s coming to mind . . .
I tried something along the lines of Day-Lewis out for Blood, but it got too repetitive.
Thought you might enjoy these images my friend David made for our Oscars party this year.
No Country Fried Steak for Old Men
There Will be Blood Orange Tart with Cardamom Pastry Cream
