Attention Variety

I am available for writing post-Oscar-ceremony headlines.

Here are some examples:

QUEEN CATE APPROXIMATELY
Blanchett wins for two historic roles

NO OSCARS FOR “OLD MEN”
Surprise shut-out for Coen pic

THERE WILL BE OSCARS
WGA reaches agreement in time for broadcast

DEPP DRINKS DAY-LEWIS’S MILKSHAKE
Surprise upset for Blood actor

LINNEY “SAVAGES” CHRISTIE
Takes Oscar “Away From Her”

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Comments

7 Responses to “Attention Variety”
  1. moroccomole says:

    Hey, hacks like me work really hard on this shit.

  2. Really good all around, but I keep thinking there’s got to be something more . . . unlikely-but-appropriate that could be done for the Depp/Day-Lewis one. I’m pretty sure that, whether Day-Lewis wins or not, the “milkshake” line will be referenced by at least five headline writers around the country. At least.

    The subhead suggests to me that something clever could be done with the title There Will Be Blood and referencing the very bloody Sweeney Todd, but for the life of me, nothing’s coming to mind . . .

  3. yetra says:

    Thought you might enjoy these images my friend David made for our Oscars party this year.

    No Country Fried Steak for Old Men

    There Will be Blood Orange Tart with Cardamom Pastry Cream