The “Cow Over Moon” Experiment
click for larger view
Now that science has proven that the cat does not actually play the fiddle, as many have surmised, but was merely seen near the fiddle at the time of the mysterious cutlery disappearance (CAT + FIDDLE), we now turn our attention to the heretofore long-considered “hyperbolic” or “hallucinogenic” passage concerning the “cow” that “jumped over the moon.” Looking at the above diagram, it is readily apparent that the vantage point of the LITTLE DOG (a) with regards to the COW (b) is so low, especially in relation to the surrounding horizon, and the COW so near to the LITTLE DOG, that the cow would only need to “jump” four or five feet into the air in order for the LITTLE DOG to perceive it as having jumped “over the MOON”(c). Similar unexpected juxtaposed images of dairy animals and celestial bodies have produced laughter not only in “little dogs” but in the larger breeds as well in laboratory settings (see Goose et alia, Cow, Moon, Dish, Spoon, pp 321-449, op. Cit.).
I like your citation. Reminds me that school is coming up!
You went to college, yes?
Which one?
None I would put on a resume.
Now, now, Todd. Don’t be ashamed. Was it I-U?
Since I don’t know what I-U means, I’m going to say “no.”
In any case, I was a dropout.
Stay in school, kids!
God willing, I will be ‘in’ school until I die.
I didn’t need to be reminded
I don’t know why he’s being so reticent. I once sat in a black-box theatre and watched Todd Alcott deliver an hour-long talk about his college years. With slides.
Jeez, that piece must have more boring than I thought it was — it was only fifteen minutes long.
It contained lines like this to describe the town’s history: “Extensive strip-mining made the area landscape unfit for anything but a state university.”
There was a short monolgue version but you once did an extended version with visual aids that was, as I recall, in two parts.
You’re varying you’re subjects
Are you jst passing time until your projector bulb is fixed?
Re: You’re varying you’re subjects
Is that a polite way of saying you don’t like the cartoon?
Re: You’re varying you’re subjects
No, I’m noting you are turning to drawings instead of film reviews.
No insult was meant to the drawing.
It’s a fine diagram, but it apears that the cow is about 6 feet off the ground. bo’vine steroids no doubt.
Well, don’t forget though, it is a “little dog.”
But, wait! There’s a huge flaw in your whole explanation: anyone who has seen Snatch knows that dogs can’t look up!
I have seen Snatch many times, and my logic is perfect. The whole premise is based on the dog’s perspective. The moon is at a low horizon point, the dog is looking straight ahead and the cow, now that I think of it, if the moon is just rising, would only have to jump a foot or two to appear to be “over the moon.” The question is, WHAT MADE THE COW JUMP?
DID SHE JUMP OR WAS SHE PUSHED?
If this were a Lifetime movie, she was pushed. And the Bull did it.
Hmmm… I wonder if we could get James Urbaniak to audition as the Bull that forces her to choose between her dairy career and her calf…
Don’t mention Lifetime! I close the iron door on them!