Sam’s ideas for Jurassic Park IV

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(Sam, 7, has been keen on Jurassic Park ever since he saw a fleeting image from it in a video store at age 3. He has now seen all three movies several times and owns the soundtrack, the themes of which he can be heard to sing incessantly around the house. His interest in Indiana Jones is more recent — he first saw Raiders of the Lost Ark less than a year ago –but is no less strong. The first name in filmmaking he learned was George Lucas, but the second was Steven Spielberg, and it is Spielberg who has had the much greater impact, as we will see.)

SAM. Dad?
DAD. Yeah?
SAM. Is there going to be a Jurassic Park IV?
DAD. I don’t know. They’ve been planning one for a long time, but I don’t know if they’ll ever make it.
SAM. What do you think it will be about?
DAD. Well, I actually know something about that.
SAM. Really?
DAD. Yeah. I’ve heard — now mind you, this is only what I’ve heard — that in Jurassic Park IV, a the government breeds raptors to carry out commando raids.
SAM. Really?
DAD. That’s what I’ve heard.
SAM. Could they do that?
DAD. Um, sure, I guess. Velociraptors are pack hunters, they must be about as smart as dogs, you could probably train them if you started from birth.
SAM. What if — oh! — What if they train velociraptors to be commandos, and then send them back in time to fight the Nazis?
DAD. Well dude, that sounds like the greatest idea in the history of movies.
SAM. (really rolling now) And, how come there haven’t been any water dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park movies?
DAD. I don’t know, they should really —
SAM. Because, it could be like, the opening of the movie, there could be the island, right, and there’s a T-Rex walking on the shore, and he’s hunting somebody, right? And he’s just about to strike and suddenly a Megalodon jumps out of the water and grabs the T-Rex off the beach and drags it into the water!
DAD. Wow!
SAM. A giant shark jumps out of the water, grabs the T-Rex, comes completely out of the water and then splashes back down into it!  How many times do you think people have seen that in a movie?
DAD. Most people? Probably never.
SAM. Do you think it’s too much to have the Megalodon and the Nazis in the same movie, or should we save one of them for Jurassic Park V?


43 Responses to “Sam’s ideas for Jurassic Park IV”
  1. Like a whip, that one

    “Do you think it’s too much…”

    Ah! Not only smart, but smart enough to think about what he thinks about!

    I hope my nephew grows up to be like your son.

  2. gilmoure says:

    Bestest. Movie. EVEH!

    Has Sam scene Irregular Web Comic? Indiana Jones and an Allosaurus!

    • Todd says:

      Irregular Web Comic does indeed seem to bring together all of Sam’s interests under one digital roof: Star Wars, Indiana Jones and Legos, but the humor is probably a little too sophisticated for him — I still have to occasionally explain lolcats to him.

      • gilmoure says:

        Oh yeah, same with my daughter (8 years old). But it really is cool, giving them a few pieces of pop culture and letting them run with it.

  3. gillan says:

    Oh man. Put this little guy on as a creative consult.

  4. perich says:

    Do you think it’s too much to have the Megalodon and the Nazis in the same movie, or should we save one of them for Jurassic Park V?

    I laughed embarrassingly loud at this. Well done, Sam.

  5. stormwyvern says:

    Do you think one of the major turning points should be the Nazis traveling into the far future and returning with robots to fight the raptors, or is that really too much?

    I do think Sam is really onto something with the Megalodon idea. Jurassic Park IV could really use something right up at the front that says “You think you know “Jurassic Park?” You think you know dinosaur and who’s at the top of the food chain and how it all works? WRONG! You don’t know crap! See that T-Rex? You know, the ultimate predator in 1-3? Well he’s nothing! He’s an appetizer! Our new dinosaurs are so bad-ass that even T-Rexes are afraid of them!”

    And yes, I would totally see a movie where raptors go back in time to fight Nazis and a Megalodon eats a T-Rex.

    • stormwyvern says:

      Upon further reflection, the robots would be too much and the obvious course of action would be for the Nazis to time travel to modern day Jurassic Park and get their own dinosaurs to fight the raptors. But the Megelodon proves too difficult to control, leading to a mind-blowingly awesome scene where the Megalodon fights the Nazi u-boats.

      Also, the answer to Sam’s question is that the scientists working on Jurassic Park at least had the foresight to realize that they could no get aquatic dinosaurs to stick to the waterspace legally owned by Jurassic Park. And I don’t know that the island has any landbound lakes big enough to hold a Megalodon.

      • black13 says:

        If only Robert Shaw and Roy Scheider were still alive. Then we could have them guest star.

      • Todd says:

        I would think that Ingen would have the money to either set up a sophisticated underwater perimeter for their underwater dinosaurs, or else they could dig a channel into the island to create a false lagoon. So don’t sit there telling me that breeding ancient marine reptiles can’t be done.

        • stormwyvern says:

          All right, point taken. Maybe they had that planned for a future phase of the park and never got to building the perimeter or lagoon and the aquatic life to go in it due to all that minor setbacks caused by dinosaurs eating people and whatnot?

          I suppose that as long as I’m advocating a movie where a Megalodon fights Nazi u-boats, I have no right to criticize the possibility of anything.

          • greyaenigma says:

            It’ll have to be Site B. Or C. Whatever we’re up to now.

            Even better — Nick Fury, after faking his death in the first movie, merges his DNA with the dinosaurs, and his band of howling velociraptors go back in time to fight the nazi menace!

            • stormwyvern says:

              I would like to think that by the time this movie takes place, so much time has passed that we are on Site Q.

              Your “Nick Fury and his Howling Velociraptors” movie is also full of awesome and I would go to see it many times.

    • stormwyvern says:

      I would like to take a moment to point out that there are more comments on this post than there are on many posts about movies that are real.

      Just saying.

  6. chrispiers says:

    Sam sounds smart. Apparently the first scene in MEG is in fact of a Megalodon killing a wading dinosaur.

    • Todd says:

      In all fairness, Sam stole the idea from Walking With Dinosaurs, which begins one of its episodes with a scene of a Kronosaurus leaping out of the water and devouring an Allosaurus. That’s probably where Meg got the idea too.

      The BBC gets no respect. After all, Walking With Dinosaurs is a mere nature documentary.

      • nearside says:

        Filmed in real time.

      • robjmiller says:

        Maybe they got the idea from that famous scene in Deep Blue Sea where a shark pops out of the water and eats Samuel L. Jackson.

      • Anonymous says:

        But then, “Primeval” probably swiped it from WWD, too.
        Dreadful show.

        Pls ask Sam what he thinks would happen to the present day world if Dinos fought the Nazi’s in the past. His answer would be far more enchanting than anything the suits could muster.
        He should have a development deal.

      • iron_pyrite says:

        My favourite Walking With Dinosaurs gossip:

        When they commissioned it, the BBC were all about getting ‘those Jurassic Park guys’ to do the visual effects. When ILM quoted $70 million, they opted for Framestore’s slightly more TV-friendly $7 million instead.

        They still managed to spend more than that on the location shoot.

        • Todd says:

          To be fair, the location work in Walking With Dinosaurs is freaking awesome. The first few times I watched that show I couldn’t even wrap my mind around the nightmare logistics of making the concept work — each scene, each shot had to be boarded and planned without any of the principals — essentially, they shot an entire miniseries without the actors available (except for the puppets, of course).

  7. nearside says:

    If only more Hollywood professionals asked that same question… “Do you think it’s too much…”

    Priceless 🙂

  8. black13 says:

    The Megalodon eating the T-Rex: I saw that in a comic book once, though. Sometime in the 200Xs.

    It’s a cool idea, though.

    I also like the Dinos eating Nazis idea. You two need to write this.

    Just make sure that, unlike in JP3, someone actually dies.

  9. ms_violet says:

    Get that kid in WGA.

  10. xiphias says:

    Honestly, the only thing that could possibly make this movie better would be if, instead of being a big-budget Holywood movie, it was filmed with a camcorder and dinosaur toys, by a seven-year-old, and all of his friends.

    THAT is a movie that would be TRULY epic.

  11. autodidactic says:

    Nazis vs. Velociraptors sounds like a Troma film!

  12. And that is probably 1000% better than any actual Jurassic Park IV we will ever see.

    Seriously. I’d go see it. Especially if there were time-traveling dinosaurs fighting Nazis. (And please, no Jeff Goldblum being dry and ironic, either.)

  13. mikeyed says:

    Why not both?

    Megalodon Nazis!

  14. emeraldsedai says:

    Just a brief drive-by round of roaring applause for Sam.

  15. All I can say is, I hope my son is that freaking cool.

  16. r_sikoryak says:

    One thing: the time travel device is tripping me up.

    Instead, an alien ship from Close Encounters could return in the present day… but it turns out it was hijacked by Nazis in 1944!

  17. Your kid has the best movie ideas EVER!